Let there be no – and I mean zero – doubt that you’re serious about keeping those around you safe with this $30 light-up mask.

“But Doug,” you’re saying, “How can I choose just one color? I like many, many colors!” To which I would say, “Friend. It changes colors. There are seven of them.”

“Just static colors?” you rebut. “No,” says I. “This mask friggin’ blinks five different ways.”

“How many possible combinations is that?” you ask. “Who am I? Bill Nye?” I snap. “I’m poor to quite poor at even simple math. But it’s probably 35 or so possible combinations.”

According to the description, this wonderment of technology is perfect for “raves, bars, clubs, electric glow run (?), LED parties (??), Halloween, costume parties, Mardi Gras, carnivals, gifts, masquerade and more.” I don’t know what some of those things are because I’m old and I wouldn’t recommend some of those other activities until this whole you-know-what blows over, but you get the point.

The mask takes an hour to charge and lights up for two to four hours, which seems like quite a range but, hey, you’ll be the only blinky-facey for quite some time.

LED Face Mask [Amazon]